Being Honest
An interview with Zoe Fitzgerald by B. Lynn Goodwin
http://zoefitzgeraldcarter.com/book.html
Under what circumstances might a mother or grandmother opt for assisted suicide?
Margaret Draper decided it was time to end her life after two decades of battling numerous health conditions including Parkinson’s disease. In January of 2001, she called her daughter, Zoe on the West Coast to talk about having her visit on the first weekend in February, and said, “I’ve been trying to find a good time to end things as you know, and I was hoping that weekend might work for you. I haven’t called your sisters yet, but of course I want them here too. And your girls if you can bring them.”
What should Zoe do?
Imperfect Endings: A Daughter’s Tale of Life and Death is the story of how the author handles her mother’s desire to end her life with love and respect while keeping herself free from any legal liability. It’s a complex, fascinating, absorbing memoir.
Carter lets you into her life and her heart. Though the subject is dark, Imperfect Endings engages the reader and celebrates life, especially when all three generations gather. This unflinchingly honest memoir will empower mothers, daughters, people facing the end, and children facing moral dilemmas about their aging parents. Carter’s perspective and her joyous children provide a layer of hope in the midst of Margaret’s letting go. A talented writer, Carter is also a gracious listener when she shares her story at Bay Area gatherings.
Below, she talks about her story, her writing process, and her advice for memoirists.
LG: Tell us about becoming a writer. Where did you imagine your career going when you got a journalism degree?
ZFC: I was hoping I’d end up with a column in a national magazine so I could actually make a living as a free-lance writer! It never happened. I wrote for a number of great magazines but the finances were always difficult. It’s a tough career.
LG: What prompted your decision to write Imperfect Endings?
ZFC: When my mother first started talking about ending her life, I was really distressed and very confused about whether being a “good daughter” meant talking her out of killing herself -- or helping her do it.
Writing the book gave me an opportunity to go back and reconsider that dilemma, and I hoped it would be helpful for people going through similar situations with their parents.
LG: Great motivation. What was most challenging about telling this story?
ZFC: The hardest part of writing the book was reliving her death. About three-quarters of the way through the book, I suddenly found a lot of other things to do besides write! But when I finally got down to it, the last section of the book almost wrote itself and it’s my favorite part of the book.
LG: Who or what made it easier?
ZFC: My husband was incredibly supportive and patient with me during this time and my middle sister, Hannah, was always there to talk to. I also have a fabulous writing group who read draft after draft of every chapter and cheered me on.
LG: True—as I know from my own experience. How has the book altered your life as a writer?
